The Goldilocks paradigm: How to make the right choice

Some people seem to have a knack for finding the balance between too much and not enough, just as Goldilocks was able to find the porridge of just the right temperature and the bed that wasn’t too soft or too hard (even if she couldn’t comprehend the subtleties of trespassing and burglary.) But we live in an era of extremes and false choices, and nowhere is this more apparent than in plastic surgery and cosmetic medicine. Some assume that Botox always results in the frozen face, or that we need to accept our wrinkles as a badge of graceful aging. We may think that breast implants are always big and obvious, or that implant surgery is extreme and breasts are better left alone. But the truth is, as it has always been, that the best work looks natural, and the best advice is always based on a balanced approach.

So there is some irony to the fact that even as the fake look is criticized and the natural look celebrated, techniques to achieve the more balanced look are becoming ever more sophisticated. It may be hard to discern with all the attention given to the extreme cases, but it’s there, and you may not be seeing it. I know of several husbands who are oblivious to their spouse’s secret Botox habit (Does she or doesn’t she? Only your plastic surgeon knows for sure, and I’ll never tell.) Another example is breast augmentation where there is a wide array of implant shapes and sizes so that a selection matching the individual situation can be optimized (and yes, I know of marriages where the husband is unaware of the wife’s implants that she had before they met). Facelifts are improved by custom analysis, paying attention to 3-dimensional aspects of aging so as to avoid the dreaded ‘wind tunnel” look. (Meanwhile, franchise operations based on cookie cutter techniques are cropping up across the country like so many fast food joints.) Individualizing the approach is one of the keys to achieving the balanced result.

Finally, a big part of making good choices is knowing what your goals are. Be honest about your expectations when discussing them with your plastic surgeon. Be involved with the choices, especially decisions about implant size for breast augmentation. Be wary of claims that seem too good to be true, like laser lipo as an alternative to tummy tuck; sometimes the bigger operation actually gives the more refined result. And that’s no fairy tale.